Date your therapist: Your CHECKLIST to finding the perfect therapist

Date your therapist. 

No, not literally. I won’t tell you to cross ethical boundaries, but in many ways finding a therapist is similar to dating. 

1. It doesn’t always work the first time. 

2. There are a lot of options but they are not all a good fit. 

3. It involves vulnerability and transparency, which can feel strange and unfamiliar.  

Your therapist is the person you will be sharing an uninterrupted 50 minutes with on a weekly or biweekly basis. This is the person you will open up to and explore your life “stuff” with. There are a few things to consider when making such an important decision.

Here’s a cheat sheet for you when finding an individual, couples or family therapist: 

☐ Location, location, location: would you like your therapist to be near your house or job? You want to find a therapist that is convenient to you; you do not want a difficult commute to be a roadblock to your healing. Hint: The most commonly used Google search to find a local therapist is “therapist near me”.

   ☐ Location, location, location, again: do you want to see your therapist in person or via telehealth? Keep in mind, if you choose telehealth, to look for a therapist in the state where you reside. 

   ☐ Time: when can you designate time for your therapy session? Mornings, evenings, weekends? You want to be sure to pick a therapist that works during your desired timeframe.

   ☐ Gender: do you prefer a male, female or sexually neutral therapist? Does this matter to you? 

☐ Race and Ethnicity: does the race and ethnicity of your therapist matter to you? There are amazing therapist of all races and ethnicities. Is this an important factor for you? 

   ☐ First Impression: does your therapist have a website or blog? Can you get a feel for their personality? Does the therapist offer a brief complimentary introductory call? This is a great opportunity to learn about your potential therapist- ask them questions and feel their energy. 

   ☐ Specialty: what are their specialties? Do they offer therapy that addresses your key concerns? For example, is spiritualty important to you? Are you seeking premarital counseling? Individual therapy? Couples therapy? This is important to consider when narrowing down your list. 

   ☐ Money: are you looking to pay out of pocket for your service or would you like to use your insurance? Do they take your insurance? How much are you willing and able to invest in your mental health? Review their rates and your budget. Keep in mind some therapists offer a sliding scale to those in need. 

If you take nothing away from this checklist, please remember the work to find a therapist is worth it. If the first one is not the best fit, please do not throw away therapy all together. It can truly be one of the best investments you make in yourself. 

You are worth it! 

Thanks for reading,